I'm really not sure what to say. Honestly, what can any of us say? What do any of us know? It's scary to have our lives shift in just a few weeks - and from what we can tell, they're going to change even more.
In this time of fear and uncertainty, one thing has remained. Even as churches are closing their doors and masses are being moved online, Jesus is always present to us. He calms the stormy sea and carries our burdens so we can rest. What a gift we have that He is always with us.
There are a lot of emotions - anger, sadness, frustration, fear, uncertainty. These are emotions that we don't always have to face. Our lives are so busy and frankly, frantic, that the slowness, the silence, and the stillness are unnerving. We're being forced to stop, to think, to rest. To decide what is important to us. What matters. Who we are without our activities, our daily routines, our workout classes, our social lives, our "freedom." Who are we really, when all of these things are stripped away?
I don't have an answer, but God does. And He is waiting to meet us in the stillness.
Of course, this is not everyone's reality. Many people are suffering from unthinkable grief. They are fighting the virus, many doing so on their own to protect those they love from contracting it. They are elderly or otherwise immuno-compromised and have been locked away in their homes for weeks already. They are the houseless and the unemployed and the undocumented, those without insurance and those afraid to come to a hospital for fear of being arrested and sent away. Many are suffering much more than I am, in my house with my roommates and plenty of food and toilet paper.
There is a lot of suffering. And when I feel like it's all a bit too much, when I get frustrated at how things are changing so fast, when I feel angry that this is happening - I turn back to God. Because if I know anything, it's that God is good all the time.
And He meets me, here in my angry tears. In my confusion. In my desire to know that things will be okay. He reminds me "I have told you this so that you might have peace in me. In the world, you will have trouble, but take courage, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). We are not promised a life free from trouble. We are not promised certainty or control. But we are promised His peace. So, let's ask for it - especially now when our very identities feel stripped away. When the places we used to find our energy and joy are no longer accessible. Who are we, when it all goes away?
The headlines get scarier and scarier - constant updates of the threats to our physical and financial well-being. Yes, we should be aware of the virus and actively be taking the steps we can to flatten the curve. But let's also realize that the pundits and financial projectors are simply trying to maintain a semblance of control - much like the rest of us. If we can understand it, if we can project it, if we can expect it - then we feel like we're back in control. If this whole experience teaches us anything, it's that we are not in control. We are not. And praise God for that because being in control is a heavy cross to bear.
Right now, there's an insane pressure to be productive - to run every day or write a masterpiece or read all the books on our shelf or discover gravity (because apparently, Isaac Newton did that during the Great Plague of London). Let's remember - this is the pressure of the world. If we are lucky enough to be healthy and simply socially distancing, Jesus is inviting us to be present, to be obedient, to do our work, and to rest. It reminds me of when Jesus tells Martha, "You are worried and anxious about many things, but only one thing is needed" (Luke 10:41-42). That one thing? Jesus. And we have him, no matter if we are inside or outside, at work or working from the couch, eating fresh veggies or beans and canned soup. Let's focus less on being productive, and more on using this as a time for rest and obedience.
The silence and stillness are unnerving. They create space for things to come up - both memories from the past and fears about the future. There aren't countless activities or ways to distract ourselves. We actually have the time to settle into this. What a gift! Instead of keeping those thoughts in the dark, let's bring them to the light. Speak them out loud in prayer. Remember, there is a big difference between isolation and solitude. Let Jesus remind you, "Behold, I am with you until the end of the age" (Matthew 28:20). Anxiety, confusion, fear, and worry are of the enemy. He wants us to stay in the dark. Our God is a God of peace and light. Invite His peace in - cast away the lies of the one who only wants to stir up confusion and doubt.
One more thought - while we are being called to "socially distance" ourselves, I'd prefer to reframe that as "physically distance." Don't pull away from the people you love or the people who love you. My bible studies have moved to Zoom, and I'm leading a Screwtape Letters book study for the next few weeks (message me if you'd like to join!) FaceTime is a gift. We are so lucky to live in this age of technology. Don't isolate yourself - be proactive and reach out to those you love. It's likely that they are craving connection as well.
You truly don't need to sit in silence for eight weeks. Find those things that bring you joy - remember to seek the true, good, and beautiful, even here. For me, Little Women and the first episode of Modern Love (The Doorman is my Main Man) are two of my favorite escapes. They bring me joy and make me laugh. What shows or movies bring you joy?
C.S. Lewis' "On Living in an Atomic Age" is also a brilliant reflection. We are not the first to experience uncertainty - and we will not be the last. A disease can destroy our bodies, but fear, envy, greed, and pride can destroy our souls.
I also suggest the Litany of Trust and the Surrender Novena - two beautiful prayers that invite us to release control and remind ourselves of how we can trust in God, who knows all things, can do all things and loves us. The Litany of Trust can be repeated daily, or hourly, or as often as you need to remember to trust in God. The Surrender Novena provides nine days of prayers - a great way to start each day. And you can pray it over and over again, as long as you need it! Both of these prayers have brought tremendous peace to my heart.
Above all, give yourself the grace to feel your emotions. You don't have to do anything - just be obedient and physically distance yourself. Read a book. Watch Netflix. Sleep. Go for a hike. Do yoga in your living room. FaceTime a friend. Talk it out. Do what you need. But whatever you do, seek out peace in Christ, who promises it to us. This is not our home. We are just passing through. Let's be a light to those in fear, let's hold fast to the promises of our God. And, together, let us pray the final words of the Surrender Novena:
O Jesus, I surrender myself to you,
take care of everything!
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