Having a "mentor" is a pretty buzzy idea. Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In spoke at length about the importance of finding a professional mentor, especially for women in male-dominated industries. The idea was that having another woman who had walked the path and probably faced many similar obstacles, would empower you to make smart decisions when it came to your profession.
Mentorship in the professional world is great - but there's also a need for mentorship and strong peer relationships in other areas of life. I've been thinking a lot lately about the important roles of my friends in my life and took the time to write out who they are and how they make my life richer. Someone was telling me that she calls her circle her "Board of Directors," (which I love) because she runs her big decisions and ideas by them. I encourage you to think about the people you have in your life and maybe the places where you need a mentor or peer to walk alongside.
1. The One Who is Spontaneous (or Steady)
You have to know yourself for this one - are you more steady or spontaneous? I lean towards steady... so my spontaneous friend is always challenging me to try new things and move beyond my comfort zone. She's hilarious, always sends me new idea/place/book/podcast suggestions and calls me often to fill me in on her adventures. She's made me more "go with the flow" and definitely more open to new experiences.
On the flip side, if you're a little wild, having a steady friend can serve as a good foundation. And they'll be so grateful for your energy in return!
2. The One who Knows God
Okay, I am quite lucky to have many friends far holier than I #blessup. To be fair, most of the people on this list fall into this category. Having friends who know God intimately and who ask you questions that draw you closer to Him is vital. These friends hold me accountable to my commitments, ask important questions when I'm trying to make a decision, and always (always always) remind me to trust God because He's got it.
3. The One who Makes You Laugh
This beautiful amazing friend makes me laugh until I cry. He knows me SO well and never hesitates to call me out on anything and everything. He is generous and kind and always seeks to look out for others, always with a spirit of joy and adventure. I know I can call him when I need to laugh or share a ridiculous story.
4. The One you Talk to Weekly
This friend has been the biggest gift. We talk every week - about life, work, dreams, and prayer. She is incredible and motivates me to work harder and love bigger. Because we live in different cities and connect weekly, we're always in the loop. It's so nice to have friends who don't need context because they're up to date - and we often talk for hours.
5. The One You've Known Forever
There's nothing sweeter than growing up with someone. We've seen each other at so many stages of our lives, we know each others' families, and we have too many embarrassing stories of one another to count. When we catch up, it's like no time has passed. We have seen each other go through highs and lows, moves, new jobs, relationships - all of it. For someone who doesn't have a sister, this is probably as close as I can get.
6. The One who Plans
I am so grateful for the friends that know what's going on and make plans and set things up. Whenever I need to know what's going on, where to eat, what to see, what to read, or what to do - she's my girl. And she's always down to come along for the adventure. I love her because she's always up to try something new. There's nothing more fun than friends in the know.
7. The One you Live With
The roomie relationship can be unpredictable - but it can also solidify the most incredible friendships. Doing daily life with people means they see all of you. The early mornings (pre-coffee), the late nights, the long talks in the kitchen. It's a friendship that forges an incredible relationship - even after you both move on. We might not live together anymore, but we still talk nonstop and I'm so grateful for the way that she knows me, sees me, loves me, and calls me out.
8. The One who Mentors Professionally
Work can be hard, and it's important to have that person in your life who encourages and guides you in professional decisions. I call her whenever I'm making a decision, need assistance with a problem, or thinking about the future. She's calm, confident, and knows how I work. She never fails to give expert advice.
9. The One who Mentors Spiritually
A little different from the ones who know God above, this person (actually a few of them) are a bit older and in different life stages. They offer the best guidance, share their own stories, and never fail to bring joy and peace into any moment. They're only a phone call away when I need help or when I just want to bask in their wisdom.
Friendships are an incredible gift, and making friends as an adult can be a challenge. Having good friends is something I don't take for granted, and I try to cultivate and nurture my friendships well. Which friends do you have in your life? Are there any areas where you could grow? We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so choose your friends well!
If you're in a season where you're struggling to make friends or find community, I encourage you to do a few things. 1) Ask God to bring good people into your life. 2) Say yes to every invitation. 3) Reach out to anyone you know in your city/area and ask them to walk/coffee/lunch. Know of my prayers and persevere - God desires good community for us!!
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