I believe our lives occur in seasons, and the season I'm facing right now is one of great change.
On September 15, I packed up my life in three boxes and three suitcases and moved across the country, from San Francisco to DC. The choice to make this move - both for my career and also because I love love love DC - was a peaceful one. I've been dreaming of coming back to DC since I left in 2016, and this opportunity presented itself at the perfect time. But no matter how much peace we feel in making a decision, there's still a whole lot of change to face. Saying goodbye to friends, routines, communities, St. Dominic's, my walk along the Marina Green, my favorite baristas at Peet's; saying hello to "weather," monuments, new friends, new church, new Trader Joe's, new library, new coffee shop (God bless Compass Coffee) - it's a lot. This past month has required uncomfortable levels of growth, but strangely I have come to find comfort in the discomfort. Every day is a new adventure, and I'm grateful for the people and places that have settled into this new part of my life.
One of the biggest blessings in this time of transition has been my move to Intuitive Eating. This is something I have craved for over a year - freedom from counting calories and intense workouts and constant self-scrutiny with how I looked. After National Sweetheart, I knew it was time for me to address my relationship with food and my body and move forward in a healthier, more holistic way. I'll write more about my experience with the beginning stages of Intuitive Eating next week :)
But again, I'm in a new city and it's been a pretty big transition. So here are the things I've done to try and make it as smooth as possible.
1. Say Yes to Everything
DC is very different from SF - while most people I knew in SF are from the Bay Area or at least from somewhere in California, DC is filled with a much more transient population. Almost everyone here is from somewhere else. That means that you can walk into a room and say "Hi, I just moved here," and people are pretty excited to make you feel welcome. Thanks to the wonder of social media, I discovered that so many of my friends had also made their way to DC over the past few years, which led to many many DMs and dinner dates with old friends I hadn't seen in ages. When people invite you to things, say yes. Even if you're tired. Even if it's too cold or too hot or too rainy. You'll always be glad that you did.
2. Ground Yourself in What Matters
I think the absolute scariest, most uncomfortable situation is to walk alone into a room of people who know each other. Okay, I know I have done this a million times as a titleholder and for work, but my heart never fails to beat out of my chest when I need to step out into deep, unknown waters. But I knew that the most important step of building a community in DC revolved around finding a church. I reached out to my friend Renee, who I had met through a bible study in 2016, and asked about her recommendations for a young adult group and bible study. It turns out that she led a bible study at her church, and she invited me to join in! This group also happens to have a vibrant young adult community, rooted in weekly Adoration, Meditation, and Happy Hours. So I found myself standing in a room of people I didn't know, finally gathering the courage to say "Hi!" to the girl next to me. Wow, I'm so glad I did. Over the past few weeks, I have grown into beautiful friendships with some amazing amazing people through this church community, and it's been a huge blessing to me as I've adjusted to this new life.
3. Reconnect with What You Love
Reading. Prayer. Walking. Podcasts. FaceTime with friends. While my physical location might have changed, my favorite things don't have to. I've found so much joy in quiet time on my own, to be a good friend to myself as everything swirls around me. To take care of myself, get good sleep, love the people around me, and rest. Yes, I'm saying yes to everything I can, but I'm also using my powerful "no"s to protect my rest. I've been so tired since making this move and it's been hard to get used to my new, slower mornings. In SF, I'd bounce out of bed at 5 am and go work out. Here, I'm waking up around 8 or 8:30, praying and working on the couch until about 12, and then going for a walk, working at a coffee shop, then doing some yoga and meeting up with friends. The pace of my life has slowed down a lot, but it's been a real gift. I'm sure that as time goes on, I'll start waking up earlier again - but for now, I've decided to embrace this new pace and rest.
4. Stay Connected with Those at Home
I mentioned that I love my FaceTime and I really do. Finding time to catch up with the people I love in SF has reminded me how blessed I am to have great community all over the place. Truly, I am so so so lucky. My friends in SF know me like very few others do, and I want to stay in contact with them because I love them. Moving is hard enough to do on your own - keep the people in your life close, because we have the technology to do it! This might sound a little cold, but scheduling FaceTime dates has been an incredible lifesaver. I have set weekly phone dates with four good friends, meaning that I always know when I'll get to talk to them next and we don't have to go back and forth forever to set up a time to catch up. I also call people when I walk - my parents and brothers are good sports and pick up the phone most (some) of the time. PTL for technology!
5. Be Kind to Yourself
Seasons stretch us, and sometimes that's uncomfortable. I've learned to be kind to myself. I'm learning a new job, navigating a new city, building a new life - and those things are hard. I'm going to make mistakes (absolutely I've made countless already) but I'm learning to be gentle with myself. I would rather be in a place where I'm learning and growing and being challenged than staying stagnant. Challenges mean that I'm not going to know everything, I'm not going to be perfect, and I'm going to be #humbled pretty often. That's okay, and that's what I signed up for. So when the weeks come to an end and I feel blown and battered by the craziness that has unfolded, I'm giving myself compassion and space to rest. I'm congratulating myself on making it through another week and keeping track of all the ways I was able to grow. Tracking accomplishments and keeping a gratitude journal are great ways to be kind to yourself and stay in tune with how you are growing.
Are you making a big move or entering a new season of your life? Tell me all about it! And let me know if these tips work for you.
Xo,
Jane
3. Reconnect with What You Love
Reading. Prayer. Walking. Podcasts. FaceTime with friends. While my physical location might have changed, my favorite things don't have to. I've found so much joy in quiet time on my own, to be a good friend to myself as everything swirls around me. To take care of myself, get good sleep, love the people around me, and rest. Yes, I'm saying yes to everything I can, but I'm also using my powerful "no"s to protect my rest. I've been so tired since making this move and it's been hard to get used to my new, slower mornings. In SF, I'd bounce out of bed at 5 am and go work out. Here, I'm waking up around 8 or 8:30, praying and working on the couch until about 12, and then going for a walk, working at a coffee shop, then doing some yoga and meeting up with friends. The pace of my life has slowed down a lot, but it's been a real gift. I'm sure that as time goes on, I'll start waking up earlier again - but for now, I've decided to embrace this new pace and rest.
4. Stay Connected with Those at Home
I mentioned that I love my FaceTime and I really do. Finding time to catch up with the people I love in SF has reminded me how blessed I am to have great community all over the place. Truly, I am so so so lucky. My friends in SF know me like very few others do, and I want to stay in contact with them because I love them. Moving is hard enough to do on your own - keep the people in your life close, because we have the technology to do it! This might sound a little cold, but scheduling FaceTime dates has been an incredible lifesaver. I have set weekly phone dates with four good friends, meaning that I always know when I'll get to talk to them next and we don't have to go back and forth forever to set up a time to catch up. I also call people when I walk - my parents and brothers are good sports and pick up the phone most (some) of the time. PTL for technology!
5. Be Kind to Yourself
Seasons stretch us, and sometimes that's uncomfortable. I've learned to be kind to myself. I'm learning a new job, navigating a new city, building a new life - and those things are hard. I'm going to make mistakes (absolutely I've made countless already) but I'm learning to be gentle with myself. I would rather be in a place where I'm learning and growing and being challenged than staying stagnant. Challenges mean that I'm not going to know everything, I'm not going to be perfect, and I'm going to be #humbled pretty often. That's okay, and that's what I signed up for. So when the weeks come to an end and I feel blown and battered by the craziness that has unfolded, I'm giving myself compassion and space to rest. I'm congratulating myself on making it through another week and keeping track of all the ways I was able to grow. Tracking accomplishments and keeping a gratitude journal are great ways to be kind to yourself and stay in tune with how you are growing.
Are you making a big move or entering a new season of your life? Tell me all about it! And let me know if these tips work for you.
Xo,
Jane
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