One month ago today, I was getting ready for the final competition of Miss California week. I wasn't buzzing around nervously like I often am before competition starts. Instead, I was sitting at my station, hair and makeup done, coloring in a flower in my coloring book.
It's safe to say that this year's competition felt different to me. Maybe it was the way I prepared. Maybe it was the people I was surrounded by. Maybe it was the peace I felt, from the moment we pulled up to the DoubleTree in Fresno. I'm not sure why, but the week just felt different.
I think the biggest change, from last year to this year, was my mindset. I worked with an incredible woman, Heather Sumlin, on creating a mental program for all of competition. I visualized myself walking into interview and having a great, casual conversation. I visualized myself walking onstage for talent and doing my best. I visualized my walk in my dream gown, and the audience responding after I nailed an onstage question. When I got to the stage, I felt like I had been there a thousand times. It took so much of the pressure and surprise out of performing. Backstage before talent, the 2018 Miss California Teen asked me if I was nervous. I thought about it for a moment and then responded, "No, I don't think I am." It was the truth! I had never felt more "chill" in my life. I said 2019 was the year of Chill Jane and of all places that came to fruition backstage before talent. Never in a million years did I think that would be the case.
Another big part of my preparation was really putting the competition in perspective. When I started competing at 20, I saw Miss California as the catapult to my dreams. Literally, the only way I was going to achieve my goals was by winning the crown. While I am sure that winning the crown can pave a path to success, and I've seen that happen many times, I have come to appreciate the value of simply competing. The growth I've experienced in my own confidence, conviction, and clarity of ambitions has been monumental. When you have to stop each year and seriously think "What is my career ambition? What are my educational goals?" you're forced to fight the urge to drift through life. You have to be able to articulate and defend your goals to a room of strangers. This challenge has emboldened me to step up and pursue my goals, to speak them out and gain accountability as I work towards the woman I want to be.
I also learned the power of speaking up about my goals. In 2015, I told the judges I wanted to be the "Next Kennedy in the White House." Less than a year later, I was walking up the steps of the White House for my dream job. If the clarity of goals and accountability to pursue them was all I got out of Miss California, then that's a pretty great prize package.
This year also brought new opportunities to reach others with my platform, "Cultivating Confidence for Life." I made weekly #CultivateConfidence Challenge videos, with simple, tangible ways for people to cultivate their confidence on a daily basis. I hosted my first online Cultivate Confidence workshop, which received over 1000 views on Instagram and Facebook. I visited classrooms and hit the 10,000 person mark with my presentations. But most meaningful of all, I received messages from girls across the country, from women who had competed in the Miss America program, from teachers and principals and parents, who all had gained something from my work. My goal was to reach the next generation, but the platform I have been given over these past four years enabled me to do so much more. I'm proud of my hard work and know that I will continue to invest in young girls and #cultivateconfidence throughout my life.
There were so many sweet moments at Miss California this year. Right before I walked in for my interview, I was marching around the interview room with Merri, one of the hostesses, to get my blood flowing. I took time for prayer each morning, which was so grounding in the hectic schedule of the week. I spun around and around on the swings at the Lester house and danced with sweet girls to the DJ. I cheered on my stellar teen, Hannah, as she sparkled onstage, and I drank a thousand bottles of water on the busses as we went from place to place on our Fresno tour. Seeing my friends surprise me in the audience during finals takes the cake - how lucky am I?
I also experienced new victories. Winning the Preliminary Evening Gown and Social Impact Statement Award was beyond exciting. I had never won a preliminary award before, and although it doesn't mean much at the end of the day, I was so excited. During finals, I won the Interview Award - another honor I had worked so hard to achieve. I also was awarded the Community Service Award, recognition for the countless hours I have spent visiting classrooms and creating content designed to #CultivateConfidence in the next generation. Finally, placing 1st Runner-Up was a victory. The fact that I was so close is something that I can hardly fathom. I have seen the most remarkable, accomplished women come before me and place 1st Runner-Up, and to join those ranks is something 2015 Jane could barely have comprehended.
Looking back now, I can say with confidence that I am a better version of myself today than I was in November when I was crowned Miss Marin County. I am stronger, healthier, happier, and more confident in my own skin. I know now that I can accomplish what I set my mind to - that Miss California is a stepping stone on my journey, one that has shaped and challenged and empowered me to bring all that I am to the table.
Wherever you are in life, I hope you take time to look back and appreciate how far you have come. You are not the same as you were yesterday, last week, last year. You have changed. Use the opportunities that come your way to try something new, speak up, and be vulnerable. The best moments of my life have come after moments of apparent failure, and I've come to see these seasons as chances to learn, grow, and serve. Thank you to everyone who has been a part of this journey! The crowns on my shelf will always remind me of how far I have come and propel me into how far I can continue to go. God is good, and He withholds no good thing from us!
No comments:
Post a Comment