There is something so bizarre about starting a new year. In the days leading up to January 1st, the world is in a frenzy, trying to find something about themselves that they need to change. Maybe it’s their priorities- more time with family or friends, use social media less, focus on education. Often it has to do with changing appearance- eating healthier, working out more, cutting “unhealthy” things out of their diet. Usually I get caught up in it as well, jumping into these resolutions and intentions headfirst. But this year is so different.
It’s different, because in less than 366 days, I will graduate from college. My life will no longer be organized by school breaks and finals weeks. No longer will I be running along the cliffs of Santa Barbara, seeing so many of my friends along the way. No longer will I have sorority meetings every single Monday night, and the anticipation of Tracy’s desserts will disappear. Instead, I will be doing something else, somewhere else. This year is different, because I have no idea where I will be at the end of it.
It’s surprisingly calming, actually. For so long I knew pretty much where I was going to be and what I would be doing. In 2013, I knew I was graduating high school, and although I hadn’t chosen a college yet, I believed I would be going. In 2015, I knew that I would be in the middle of my college career; I knew my classes would shift from lower to upper division and I would be able to focus on what I really loved to learn about. Because I had this idea of what I was doing, where I was going, and when it would happen, I was able to plan. I would plan months at a time, telling myself where I needed to be and what I needed to be working on. I set goals and raced to achieve them. But when something came up that pushed me off course, I was thrown off. It took time to pick myself up, brush myself off, and move on, because I had been so steadfast in what I believed my path of life would be. I had been so set on my plan for my life, that I didn’t have time to accept the open doors and opportunities that were before me, because I had blinders on, focused only on what I thought I was supposed to do.
I’m actually excited for 2016, because for the first time in my life, I really truly understand that it’s out of my hands. And I’m stoked. It’s time for me to open my heart to what God wants to do in me. Where He wants me to go. Where He wants me to follow. I don’t know where I’m going to be at the end of 2016, but I still have a resolution. This year, I just want to love. I want to love God, love other people, and love each day. I truly think that by shifting my focus from the inside to the outside, I will be just fine. I won’t stumble under the pressure of getting a job, the stress of graduation, the reality of adulthood, because the plan that is waiting for me is already perfect. As my friend Nicole always says, “Do your best and let God do the rest,” and that’s the plan.
Happy 2016!
No comments:
Post a Comment