Word for the Year: Lightheartedness

We are somehow already five days into 2020... time flies when you're having fun!

One of my favorite things to do at the start of each year is to choose a one-word theme to focus on in my choices, projects, and work. Last year, my word was "Fiat," to remind me to give God my first and best "yes," to surrender my plans and desires to His will. Be careful what you ask for!

"Fiat" took me to Miss California, National Sweetheart, a new job, a big cross-country move, new service opportunities, new and deeper relationships, and new confidence in His plan. Saying Fiat meant I was pushed out of my comfort zone constantly, into the unknown again and again. The biggest surprise (and biggest grace) of my Fiats was the amount of peace and joy that came with complete surrender. Even in moments that were frustrating, disappointing, or confusing - God was leading me to His best.

This year, C.S. Lewis' words spoke so much to me:

"How monotonously alike all the great tyrants and conquerors have been; how gloriously different are the saints."

My "Fiats" gave God room to be creative.

It's humbling to realize that much of what I perceive to be "success" is based on the lives and accomplishments of those around me. But the beauty of our God is that He is endlessly creative. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and His ways are higher than our ways. If I lived the same life of my friend or someone I looked up to, step by step, it would be impossible to live my own mission. So my "Fiat" will look different from your "Fiat," and a "Fiat" that's perfect for one person might be a complete distraction for the next.

This year, my word is "Lightheartedness." Yes, it's the longest word ever, but the best I could find to embody who I want to be on December 31, 2020. 

In reflecting on this word, what has been most salient is the necessity to live a life of gratitude and joy in order to achieve lightness. As G.K. Chesterton said, "It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light." And, oh boy, is it hard to be light. It's so tempting to complain, to gossip, to spend hours on social media comparing and critiquing ourselves and others. It's easy to pass out on the couch and watch hours of The Office. It's tempting to be on my phone instead of paying attention to the people in front of my face. Heaviness, for me, is the result of living just for the present moment and fulfilling my fleeting desires with instant gratification, rather than choosing what I know will truly bring me lightness and joy.

The thing is, what brings me the most joy, and creates the most lightness, often requires work. Pulling on my jacket and going to yoga takes effort. Waking up early to get in my full morning prayer over a cup of coffee requires a heroic decision to get out of bed. Skipping lunch to make it to daily mass when I'm starving isn't always fun. But walking out of yoga with energy and peace, setting the tone for my day in conversation with God, and pausing in the hustle of the workday to be with Jesus in the Eucharist - these are elements of a life filled with light. 

So how do I see lightheartedness playing out over the next year? I have a few ideas, but if you have any others please let me know!

1. Gratitude

I have kept a gratitude journal every night for almost eight years. But I want to be more intentional about expressing gratitude throughout the course of my entire day. I've set a few alarms in my calendar to remind me to stop and think about what I'm grateful for at that moment.

2. End to Complaining

This is a tough one. I'll be first to tell you: I'm impatient, easily frustrated, quick to take things over when they're not fast or good enough. I have a stellar habit of doing something sacrificial, offering it up, and then telling everyone within earshot about how sacrificial I am. What I've found is that when I complain, I'm just dredging up the feelings of frustration and having to face them all over again. What if I could just go through tough situations, express my feelings to God, and then release them? Could you imagine how much lightness that would bring into my life? I'm wearing a bracelet now, and every time I catch myself complaining, I switch the wrist of the bracelet. In just a few days this has already had a noticeable impact on the way that I face frustrations. Here's hoping the bracelet doesn't break soon... there's been quite a bit of wrist switching already.

3. Social Media Fast

I'm super interested to see how my January Social Media fast affects my lightheartedness. Just to take a few weeks off of Instagram and Facebook is intimidating, but I think it's going to truly open me up to the people who are right in front of me. Another terrible habit I'm working on is that I often pull my phone out and get immersed when there are actual, real live people in front of me. I want to be with them and not on my phone. I think that releasing social media will bring a depth of peace and joy to my life.

4. Pursuing Silence

Life is too dang loud. My watch buzzes, my phone rings, my email dings, and my podcasts blare voices into my head. I have become so uncomfortable with silence, but when I actually take the time to settle into silence, I can feel myself coming alive. At the SLS conference this past week, I stopped into Adoration every few hours to just be in the quiet with Jesus. Silence is life-giving. It's the time we can stop and evaluate where we are, what we're doing, and if it's in alignment with the person we want to be. Lightheartedness will not be possible without silence. I'm recommitting to my Sabbath - one day a week without technology, where I can just be - with God, with my friends, with myself. To take a walk around the monuments and see the kids stare up at them in wonder. To sit at the park on the waterfront, drink a latte and read a book. To go to sleep early. To go to yoga. Silence is elusive but invaluable. And this year, it's a priority.

So here's to 2020 - the year of Lightheartedness. What's your word? How's it going? I'll try to post an update midway through the year to check-in. I hope your year is off to a great start!